B001 The Day of the Lepus
The Day of the Lepus is the first bonus episode released to supporters of Queens of Adventure. It is a live show and features the first adventure of the members of House Aubergine. It was recorded at Oasis in San Francisco. Synopsis Four queens are attempting to join the prestigious House Aubergine. They have completed the Trials of Charisma and Uniqueness and only two trials remain. The Trial of Talent begins: A lip synch performance. As the song ends, they remain standing center stage in the great theater of House Aubergine. The wise matriarch of the house, Mama, consults her advisers. She asks them why they deserve to join the house. Pollo del Mar says there is a recent trend of success for bald queens. KaiKai Bee Michaels simply says she has wisdom. Kitty Powers, a bard of the college of glamour, touts and toots on her pink instrument. Erika Klash brags about her facing death and her high endurance. Mama announces that the queens must complete the Trial of Nerve. A queen of the house has fallen to the shady side, Madame Lepus. She fled to Shady Pines, and threatens to corrupt other queens. These novice queens must snatch Madame Lepus's wig and bring it back. Down at the carriage house Melba von Toast, a senior member of the house, is waiting. She encourages the applicants to not just take the wig, but to convince Lepus to return. The dwarf passes a snowglobe to KaiKai, saying it will help Lepus remember why she became a drag queen. The party boards a carriage drawn by a large capybara and they depart the shimmering pink palace. Several hours later, the driver drops them off and departs to pick up supplies in town. A path heads into Shady Pines as the midday sun hangs overhead. Pollo suggests KaiKai summon her familiar to scout for them. It is an owl that emerges from a tattoo on her back. Through the owl's eyes, KaiKai can see dense fog, purple motes, and foliage, but quickly gets lost and comes back as the woods grow dark. The queens finally enters the forest, Erika in front, then Pollo, then Erika, and lastly KaiKai. Kitty uses animal friendship to waft her undergarments and summon a nearby animal to help them. A large black cat emerges. Kitty and Pollo work together to calm, befriend, and ask the cat if there is danger ahead. The cat answers "Yes, much danger. Follow me," and it bounds off. The fog grows denser as they follow and the face of a large woman appears, throwing shade at them. Pollo throws shade back. The cat leads them to a clearing with a sandy bottom and a wooden platform crossing it. Cats sit and stare all around them. The friendly cat tells them to walk this way, and does a sassy catwalk. As the other queens sing, Kitty struts the platform. Pollo uses her barbarian skills to leap across (though she loses her shoe). Erika struts but falls. KaiKai draws her staff as she chicken dances across. The cats applaud the queens skills, and offer their allyship to the queens. The face of the woman appears again, calling the queens trash, before fading again. The group finds a clearing with a mound of earth in between four tree stumps. A satyr in a leafy green tuxedo greets them. Pollo, recognizing this as a wrestling ring, joins him and dives into her wrestler background to hype up the crowd for a fight. The satyr announces the entrance of their opponent: an owlbear. KaiKai shoots a ball of flame, burning off most of the owlbear's feathers. It retaliates by bouncing off the vines and slashing at KaiKai. Then it turns to Pollo and snaps at her with its beak. The goliath goes into a barbarian rage and puts the owlbear in a full nelson. While the monster is grappled, Kitty hits it with vicious mockery, then uses her bardic inspiration on Erika. The fighter uses her inspiration to shoot an arrow into the owlbear's eye, despite Pollo's concern about her own safety. The shot knocks the owlbear out and the satyr declares the queens the winner. As they leave, Kitty plays song of rest to help heal the party before they continue. They find a lagoon, with a small island with a lone, purple blossom covered tree. A dryad emerges from it and offers to assist them, but she asks for a favor: she wants one of them to perform for her. Kitty does a dance to inspire KaiKai, who has to do a lip synch to an unknown song. In awe of the performance, she invites KaiKai to take a dip in the healing waters of the lagoon. A curtain of vines opens, behind it more cats are applauding next to Gene the satyr who directs them down the path. The fog closes in again, and the woman's face appears again to throw shade. Pollo realizes this must be the person they are seeking. They arrive at a glade full of vine covered columns and stone statues in twisted poses of agony. Music around them grows louder. They recognize the song as inviting them to vogue, and they all stand there as a bright light flashes. It causes some of them pain. Pollo tries to use her barbarian danger sense, KaiKai uses a minor illusion of a music video background performer who vogues emphatically. A spotlight shines on the dancing illusion as the music rises to its peak again. Finally, the queens realize they need to vogue. As soon as they do, a path opens through the forest. Once more the face appears, threatening them. As the fog clears, they find a small bog with a wooden plank crossing over to a small wood and mud hut with a picket fence. A faint buzzing sound comes from the fence and they see a sprite rushing about collecting mushrooms. He offers them some as he sees them coming. KaiKai approaches the fence, but a shimmering force field blocks the hut. She pokes the warding spell and gets pushed back. The sprite says they need a password. Kitty pulls out a larger instrument from her bag and uses charm person on the sprite. It reveals the password as Ham. The cottage door opens as the barrier drops. The sprite flees. In the door, Madame Lepus appears, eating a ham. The queens discuss whether to try to save her. Lepus tries to get them to join her in the shady side. Kitty tries to use charm person on her. It works, and for a moment Lepus realizes the harm she has done. But a voice from all around tells Lepus to not fail now. Lepus is once again dark, teleporting through the hut's shadows and out of Pollo's to attack the barbarian with a blade and then vicious mockery. Pollo swings her great axe back at her, causing Lepus to drop her ham. Erika joins the fray, wanting to use a trip attack. Kitty's matchmaking skills recognize malign influence and she suggests they not kill her but restrain her. Pollo remembers at once the snow globe. Erika insists they immobilize her first, but KaiKai draws out the snowglobe. Madame Lepus looks shook as the shade and fog is dispelled by the snowglobe. Memories flood them: Madame Lepus as a girl, twirling like a princess. A teen Lepus, dancing for her friends. Then she's a young adult, embracing Mama, joining House Aubergine. A voice tells the queens to tell Lepus why they became drag queens. After they share their own stories, the queens burst into a final song (Erika losing a shoe, which Pollo plans to sell at She'Bae). Madame Lepus is freed of the shade, as a shaft of light illuminates a clear path through the pines. They have proven themselves true, Queens of Adventure. Characters Party * Erika Klash - half-orc fighter * KaiKai Bee Michaels - high elf wizard * Kitty Powers - half-elf bard * Pollo del Mar - goliath barbarian NPCs (All debuts) * Mama * Melba von toast - dwarf, senior member of the house. * Carriage driver * Madame Lepus * Green Jean Oakenman * Dryad * Sprite * Mysterious Voice Monsters/Enemies * Owlbear Live Show Roles * DM Matt Baume * Dice Boy Amp Episode Notes Lore * One of the most notable queens of House Aubergine, Madame Lepus, had gone to the shady side. This allowed her access to formidable dark magics. The shady side seems to be connected to a sentient force of unknown origin. Inspiration Earned * Pollo - for reading Heklina * KaiKai - Fanservice - singing part of a Rupaul song * Pollo - demonstrating her landing pose after her 30 foot leap * KaiKai - single single joke * KaiKai - callback to a meme from 1997 * Erika - for a topical political reference * Kitty - Admiral Akbar impersonation Memorable Quotes * "I've endured a lot. Including a 10 incher last night." - Erika Klash * "It is attached to her head via powerful magic we have yet to understand." - "Superglue." - Mama and Pollo del Mar * "It's been a long walk in this forest." - "We've literally gone five feet." - Kitty and Pollo * "Way to go team, we made it to a clearing. You guys are like, we've spent half an hour and gone three feet." - Pollo del Mar * "The cats are speechless." - "As they should be. My puss is speechless too!" - DM Matt and Pollo * "By the way, grappling is my specialty. There's at least two hundred men in the city who can attest to that." - Pollo del Mar * "How do you make a bear more scary? Put an owl's head on it, said nobody ever." - Kitty Powers * "Epcot is waiting... said no one ever." - Erika Klash * "Do you seek the malevelant force at the center of the pines?" - "Probably." - Dryad and Kitty Powers * "We can double team her? Oh!" - "I'll stand back and hold the camera" - KaiKai and Pollo * "Is Kitty still with us or is she still in that nether-region of bad walking?" - Pollo del Mar * "What kind of music is it? Is it like pop-o-clock gay boy dance music?" - Kitty Powers * "I think based on the odds we'll have a better chance of getting the hair off of her chinny chin chin." - Erika Klash * "No one told me there'd be cottaging!" - Kitty Powers * "I will have to support some of what Kitty is saying right now, because if anyone knows what it means to be under the power of influence its her." - Pollo del Mar * "I'm sorry, you're using what to trip her?" - DM Matt References * Gummi Bears * Sasha Velour's Drag Race win and rose pedal wig reveal * Peaches Christ and Heklina * Ride Share drivers * Trixie Mattel's fall from a stage * Disneyworld * iTunes * Sally Field's "You Love Me" acceptance speech * Monty Python's Ministry of Silly Walks * Boulet Brothers and Dragula * White Witch from Chronicles of Narnia * Admiral Akbar from Star Wars * Bob the Drag Queen * Kirstie Alley * Emperor Palpatine * Lady Gaga's Artpop * Thorgy Thor * D12 Name That Tune * "Real Emotion" - Final Fantasy X-2 (Opening Lip Synch) * "Sissy That Walk" - RuPaul * "Cats in the Cradle" - Harry Chapin * "Cat, I'm a Kitty Cat" - internet meme * "Semi-Charmed Life" - Third Eye Blind * "Anthem" - Krazy Kitty (surprise lip synch) * "Vogue" - Madonna * "Total Eclipse of the Heart" - Bonnie Tyler * "Purse First" - Bob the Drag Queen * "Fancy" - Reba McIntire * "Cut to the Feeling" - Carly Rae Jepsen (Finale Lip Synch) Behind the Queens * This episodes title has dual meaning. The Day of the Lepus is a reference to the Night of the Lepus, a sci-fi horror movie. It is also a reference to Lady Bunny, legendary drag queen and basis of the Madame Lepus character. * This is the first episode released in any part of the podcast to feature new queens outside the original four, and the first episode to not feature any of the original four queens. * Pollo frequently references Heklina in the show. Heklina is a San Francisco drag queen and one of the two owners of the Oasis, the drag club that hosted the show. * This show features the second of three appearances of the song "Anthem", the first was in Tip of the Tops, and the next one would be in the live stream Enter the Wigsnatch. Category:Episodes Category:Bonus Episodes Category:Live Shows Category:House Aubergine